Helping you find clarity and confidence.

If you or your partner are considering divorce but are not completely sure that this is the right path, you are not alone, and you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is designed for exactly this kind of situation. It offers a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look carefully at your options for your marriage. The goal of Discernment Counseling is to help married couples that are on the brink of divorce gain clarity and confidence about the direction of their marriage, based on a deeper understanding of what's happened to their marriage, and each person's contributions to the problems.

For Couples on Different Pages

Discernment Counseling is a helpful process when one partner is leaning out of the relationship and unsure that couples therapy would help, while the other partner is leaning in and wants to work on the relationships. The aim is not to solve your marital problems, but to figure out whether they are solvable.

Your therapist will guide you through a structured process to help you both gain clarity and confidence about your next step. That might mean making a commitment to work on the relationship, deciding to separate or divorce, or pausing before making a decision. Throughout the process, you will be treated with compassion and respect, no matter how you feel about your relationship. In Discernment Counseling, we help couples choose between one of three paths: 

• Path One: Maintaining the status quo; keep the relationship “as-is” for now without working on it.

• Path Two: Take action toward separation or divorce.

• Path Three: Agree to a six-month commitment to couples therapy during which time divorce off the table.

What to Expect in the Process

Although you will attend sessions together, much of the work happens through individual conversations with the therapist. This is because each of you is in a different place emotionally, and it is important that you each have space to process and reflect. The therapist will hold space for both of your perspectives, support your reasons for wanting change, and gently explore the possibility of healing the relationship. A key focus is helping each partner see their own role in the relationship dynamics, which can be valuable whether you choose to stay together or not.

Discernment Counseling is a short-term model. It includes up to five sessions only. Each session lasts for two hours.

This approach is not appropriate in all situations. It is not a fit if one partner has already made a firm decision to divorce, if there is pressure or coercion to attend, or if there is risk of domestic violence or abuse.

Next Steps

To help determine if Discernment Counseling is the right fit, each partner is invited to schedule a complimentary twenty-minute consultation with Cristina Trette. These brief individual calls offer a chance to ask questions, share where you are coming from, and receive support in deciding whether to move forward. Cristina Trette is the only therapist at our practice that offers discernment counseling.