Couples Therapy
A More Connected Love Relationship Starts Here
Many couples reach a point where the relationship no longer feels the way it once did. Communication may feel strained, the same arguments keep repeating, or emotional and sexual intimacy have faded. Some couples are navigating a painful rupture such as infidelity or the possibility of divorce. Others have a strong relationship, and want help with parenting, division of household duties, or being able to discuss important issues without fighting or sweeping it under the rug.
If you are here, your relationship matters to you. You may be tired of trying to improve things on your own or you may be worried about where your relationship is heading. I help couples slow things down, understand the patterns getting in the way, and develop confidence and security in their relationships.
What to Expect from Couples Therapy
Couples therapy works best when both partners want to attend. I will not judge you, shame you, decide who is right, be a referee, or let you rehash fights over and over again. I will help you understand yourselves, each other, and the relationship more clearly so you can begin responding to each other in new ways. I will highlight the problematic behaviors and interactions I observe and coach you in real time to shift how you interact.
In therapy, you will have space to:
Stop repeating the same fights and engage more productive conversations
Repair after conflict
Express what you need in ways your partner can hear
Strengthen emotional, physical, and sexual connection
Respond to one another with greater empathy and compassion
Create partnership surrounding parenting, home, and family responsibilities
Have a confidential place to discuss concerns
Heal painful wounds from your past
Rebuild trust and heal from infidelity or betrayal, whether together or apart
I tailor the discussion points of therapy to your relationship and goals although I have a clear process that guides my work. Sessions are 55 or 85 minutes in length. Couples typically begin with weekly sessions. We meet in my office in Encinitas or virtually throughout California.
My Approach
My work is grounded in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, attachment science and nervous system responses. I pay close attention to the patterns that take over during moments of stress and disconnection and help you understand what is happening below the surface.
Rather than focusing only on communication techniques and problem solving, I will help you strengthen your emotional bond. As you develop greater feelings of security, your communication will change too.
Who I Help
I welcome couples and partners from diverse cultural backgrounds, relationship structures, and family configurations, and provide LGBTQ+ affirming care. Many of my clients are parents, business owners, executives, and professionals working in fields such as engineering, law, healthcare, and finance. Although many of my clients are in traditional marriages, I also work with couples in long-term partnerships and those in consensually non-monogamous relationships.
About Cristina Trette
I am Cristina Trette, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couples and relationships. You can expect warmth, presence, directness, and engagement from me. You can learn more about me here.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if my partner is hesitant to come to therapy?
It is common for one partner to feel unsure at first. Typically once they see how supportive and collaborative the process is, they want to attend. I offer complimentary video consultations upon request. The consultation offers a chance for you and your partner to get a feel for my style and approach.
How long will we need couples therapy?
I generally recommend beginning with weekly sessions or an intensive so you can make progress and meet your goals. Some couples attend short term, or around 6 months. Others stay in therapy for years, particularly when they have a history of trauma, infidelity, or entrenched conflict. We will check in along the way to make sure the work remains aligned with your goals. You are able to end therapy at any time, for any reason.
Will you tell us who is right or wrong?
I help both partners understand their experiences, recognize the dynamic between them, take responsibility where needed, commit to integrity, and create new ways of interacting. If you or your spouse engage in behaviors that are harmful to the relationship, or self-destructive, I will directly name this, and guide you toward change.
Will you tell us whether we should stay together or part ways?
No. When relevant, I will help you explore your options as it relates to marriage, seperation, or divorce. My role is to help you see how you show up in your relationship and create new ways of interacting. I will also help you understand your values, and what you need in order to create a healthy relationship, regardless of what decision you make.
Can you help if abuse is present in my relationship?
When physical, sexual, financial, or psychological abuse or coercive control are present within a relationship or marriage, couples therapy is not safe. If this describes your situation, please do not schedule couples therapy. Find an individual therapist that specializes in domestic violence or find an organization in your area that offer specialized services for victims of abuse.
Next Steps
Whether your relationship is struggling or you simply want greater depth and connection, couples therapy can help you cultivate love and wellbeing. When you are ready, reach out to get started.