There was a time when being intimate felt easy and natural. Maybe your sex life used to be playful, erotic, and passionate, or maybe physical affection was a comforting part of your relationship you both enjoyed. But lately, that part of your relationship has become difficult to navigate, and it’s causing distress for one or both of you.

For some couples, physical and sexual intimacy nearly disappears:

• Sex has become infrequent or stopped altogether.

• You might still be physically intimate on occasion, but it feels like you’re just going through the motions rather than really connecting.

• One of you wishes for more closeness while the other feels pressured, guilty, or withdrawn.

• Both of you sense the distance growing, but neither one knows how to start an honest conversation about it without awkwardness or hurt feelings.

• Trauma, physical pain or emotional distress have become associated with sex and touch.

• One of you, or both of you are “touched out” by the children or have so much life stress that sexual desire has almost disappeared.

It leaves you both wondering what happened. You care about each other; you still love each other, and yet something that used to feel natural now feels complicated or even tense. You might worry silently, “Is it me? Is it them? Why can’t we get back to how it was?” It’s a lonely and confusing place to be, and it can chip away at your confidence and connection.

The truth is, most long-term couples go through seasons when sex and intimacy get out of sync. Life can quietly erode that spark. Stress from work piles up. Raising children leaves you exhausted. Small resentments or unresolved hurts create emotional distance that makes physical closeness more difficult. Past traumas, or body image insecurities might be lingering in the background. There are many reasons desire can fade or sex can become fraught. And when these issues go unspoken for too long, it often feels easier to avoid the topic entirely – even though the hurt from that avoidance grows.

At Integrative Couples Therapy, we help you gently break the silence and start an open, honest conversation about your sexual relationship. In our sessions, you can talk about sex in a way that feels safe and respectful and without blame or shame. We’ll guide you to look beneath the surface of the frustration and disconnect. Maybe one of you is afraid of being rejected, or the other feels anxious about not being “good enough.” Maybe past experiences, in this relationship or earlier in life, are casting a shadow on your intimacy now. Whatever it is, we’ll help you both uncover the emotions and needs that haven’t been talked about, so each of you can understand where the other is coming from.

Your therapist will not assign fault or follow a checklist of tips. They will rebuilding the trust and emotional bond that make physical intimacy feel fun, exciting, and good again. When you start to address the real feelings underneath, being together in a physical way can become something positive and healing instead of stressful. You and your partner deserve to feel wanted, safe, and connected. If sex has become a source of pain, shame, or distance in your relationship, you’re not alone. We’re here to help you rediscover a closeness that feels natural for both of you. When you’re ready, reach out.