You never thought you would find yourself here. You are caught in an agonizing place between staying in your relationship or leaving it, unsure which road will lead to happiness and which might lead to more pain. It’s a heartbreaking crossroads that no one imagines when they say “I do.”

You still care about your partner, you may be in love them, and you have built a life together. There are years of memories, possibly children, shared friends, and intertwined routines. You know each other’s quirks by heart: how they take their coffee and the sound of their footsteps coming down the hall. Yet despite all of this history, you feel more distant and disconnected from them now than ever before. Or, potentially even more painful, your connection may be vibrant but differing values, life goals, or unique circumstances may be bringing your relationship to the brink.

It likely wasn’t one single thing that brought you here, but rather a slow accumulation of disconnection and unmet needs. There have been too many arguments that went nowhere, or too many issues swept under the rug. You may have had too many nights of feeling alone or not on the same page as the person that matters the most to you. You find yourself asking, “How did we get here?” and, even harder, “What do we do now?”.

Some days you might feel certain that you can’t go on like this. You may find relief when thinking about ending the relationship this will bring the uncertainty to an end. Other days, the idea of breaking up your family or walking away from the life you’ve built together fills you with heartache and loss. You have probably pictured the painful scenarios in your mind: telling your friends and family that it’s over, navigating finances and custody, your children splitting holidays between two homes, or seeing your partner with someone new. Maybe the weight of these kinds of thoughts are so heavy that you push them down, at least until the next fight, or the next long stretch of silence that brings all the doubts rushing back.

If you see yourself in this situation, you are not alone. Many couples reach this point where they care about each other, but don’t know if they can make it work anymore. It’s not that you haven’t tried, in fact, you may have been working on your relationship for years. You might even be wondering if starting (or restarting) couples therapy is worth it. We want you to know that it is never too late to seek clarity and understanding. If you and your partner have a desire and willingness to work on yourself and the relationship, a great relationship is absolutely still possible.

At Integrative Couples Therapy, we offer a compassionate and confidential space for couples standing on the brink of breaking up, separation, or divorce. We will not make the decision for you nor will we offer a professional opinion on whether you stay together or parts ways. Instead, we provide a chance for you discuss this critical point in your relationship openly, with mutual care and respect, to explore your options so you can arrive at a decision together. We offer an opportunity for you to step back and look at the big picture of your relationship and the potential vision of your future.

In a confidential, psychologically safe, and facilitated space, we can also help you explore how you got here: the hurts that haven’t healed, the patterns that kept you stuck, and the hopes and dreams that may be underlying an impasse. We can help you figure out whether both of you are willing and able to commit to your relationship and work as a team to create meaningful change. For some couples, this process reignites hope and love. They see the foundation to rebuild on and choose to renew their relationship with clearer eyes and greater intention. For other couples, these honest conversations lead to a different realization: that it may be time to let go. If that’s where you arrive, we will support both of you in navigating a separation or divorce with as much kindness and integrity as possible. We cannot advise you what decision to make. Yet we can help you develop the relationship skills required to have hard and honest conversations, in a thoughtful way.

You do not have to stay stuck in this painful in-between place where you are not moving forward. There is a way to find clarity, and even a sense of acceptance, whether you ultimately decide to renew your love or take steps toward seperation. Reaching out for help at this crossroads is brave and it means you don’t have to go through this alone. We are here to walk with you every step of the way, wherever the path may lead. If you are ready to finally find clarity and take action, we will walk alongside you, with whatever you both decide to do next.