Raising Secure Kids Across Two Homes

When marriages with children ends, the romantic relationship comes to completion, but parenting the does not. Your children still wake up each morning needing stability, security, and the freedom to love both of their parents without feeling torn. Coparenting therapy is a place to protect that.

Coparenting therapy is designed to help coparents build a workable, respectful parenting relationship so your children feel safe across two homes. At Integrative Couples Therapy, we help separated and divorced parents step out of reactive patterns and into clearer, steadier collaboration.

When Coparenting Feels Tense or Fragile

You may notice that simple logistics turn into arguments. Text messages escalate. Drop offs feel tight or awkward. Decisions about school, discipline, or schedules carry more emotion than they should. Sometimes one parent feels excluded. Sometimes both feel unheard. Often there is grief or anger still moving under the surface.

Children feel this, even when it is subtle. Over time, tension between parents can show up in children as anxiety, behavior changes, withdrawal, or divided loyalty. Coparenting therapy gives you a structured space to slow these patterns down and refocus on what your children need most.

A Practical, Child Centered Approach

In our work together, we focus on building clarity including clear communication, clear agreements and clear expectations. We help you create systems for handling transitions, making decisions, and resolving disagreements without pulling children into the middle. You do not have to agree on everything. You do need a shared commitment to stability.

Coparenting does not require friendship, unless this is what you both want. It requires emotional maturity and an ongoing willingness to prioritize your children’s wellbeing.

Protecting Children From Loyalty Binds

One of the quietest harms in high conflict coparenting is when children feel they must choose sides. This can happen through direct criticism or through subtle signals. A sigh. A tone. A comment that seems small but lands heavy.

Part of our work is helping parents become aware of these patterns and shift them. Children need to know they are free to love both of you. That message, repeated over time, becomes deeply stabilizing.

Specialized Training in Coparenting

Cristina Trette has completed training as a Coparenting Specialist through the Divorce and Children program developed by Christina McGhee. This training provides a structured, developmentally informed framework for helping parents move from conflict driven interactions to child focused collaboration. The model is practical and grounded. It focuses on long term stability, emotional safety for children, and workable systems that hold up in real life.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this the same as couples therapy?
No. Coparenting therapy focuses only on the parenting and parent-child relationships. We are not working on reconciliation. The focus is on your children and how you function together as parents.

What if we struggle to be in the same room?
That is not uncommon. Most coparents meet virtually rather than in person. In some cases, we can adjust the format to support productive work while maintaining emotional safety.

What if trust between us is very low?
Trust is helpful, but it is not required to begin. Coparenting therapy builds clarity and structure first. Respectful systems can exist even when personal trust is limited.

How long does the process take?
Some families benefit from a focused series of sessions to stabilize communication. Others choose ongoing support during major transitions such as adolescence, new partners, or school changes.

Do both parents have to agree to start?
Yes. Similar to couples therapy, coparenting therapy requires both partners attending therapy. If your coparent does not want to attend, you we encourage you to begin individual therapy.