Work On Your Relationship Without Your Partner

When a relationship or marriage is suffering, we recommend couples therapy. Yet we also understand that sometimes one partner is not ready for couples therapy, leaving the other partner in a painful place. It can be incredibly lonely to care about your relationship and feel like you are the only one willing to work on it.

You may have asked your partner to attend therapy and been met with hesitation or resistance. You may feel discouraged, tired of repeating the same conversations, or unsure how much longer you can keep trying. At the same time, you might still love your partner deeply and want things to feel different.

Maybe your partner has mentioned that they want to separate or divorce, but have not taken action yet. You might be in a place in which you want to do everything you can improve the relationship now, even though they are not willing to attend therapy. Couples therapy for one gives you a place to begin on your own.

You do not need both people in the room for meaningful change to start. Relationships are systems. When one person becomes more aware, more steady, and more intentional, the dynamic often begins to shift.

Understanding What Is Really Happening

Most couples are not stuck because one person is “the problem.” They are caught in a pattern. Maybe you pursue when you feel distance and your partner pulls away. Maybe you shut down when things get tense and your partner pushes harder. Over time, this cycle becomes automatic. You both end up feeling misunderstood or alone.

In our work together, we slow those moments down. We gently explore what happens inside of you when conflict starts. Beneath frustration or anger, there is often hurt, fear, or longing. When you understand your emotional experience more clearly, you gain more choice in how you respond. We will help you understand your part so you can step out of the cycle with strength and clarity.

What This Work Can Help With

Couples therapy for one can help you:

• Feel less reactive during difficult conversations

• Understand your attachment patterns and emotional triggers

• Communicate your needs in a way that is calm and clear

• Set healthy boundaries without escalating conflict

• Stop over functioning, pushing, pleading, and reacting

• Gain clarity about what you need and want and voice this with confidence

Many people begin to notice subtle but meaningful shifts at home. Their tone softens, arguments do not spiral as quickly and they feel more steady. Sometimes this opens the door for your partner to engage differently. Sometimes it helps you feel clearer about your next steps.

Strengthening Your Sense of Self

This work is also about you. Who do you want to be in your relationship? How do you want to show up when things feel hard? What does integrity look like for you?

As you grow in self awareness and emotional regulation and develop inner secure attachment, you begin to lead differently within the relationship. You can reach for connection without losing yourself. You can tolerate discomfort or distance without shutting down or escalating. You become more grounded in your values. There is something deeply empowering about realizing that you do not have to wait for someone else to start growing.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will this work if my partner does not change?
You cannot make your partner to change. What you can do is change how you respond, how you communicate, and how you care for yourself within the relationship. When one person becomes more secure and less reactive, it often shifts the tone of the relationship.

Is this just individual therapy?
It is individual therapy with a relational focus. We are always holding the relationship in mind. The work centers on your experience within the dynamic and how you can influence it in healthy and intentional ways.

Will you tell me to leave my relationship?
No. Our role is to help you slow down, understand what is happening, and make thoughtful decisions that are aligned with your values from grounded place rather than from fear or reactivity.

What if my partner eventually wants to join?
If your partner becomes open to attending, this is great, and we will refer you to a different couples therapist in our practice or to one of our trusted referrals. The work you have already done will provide a strong foundation.

How long does this process take?
That depends on your goals. Some people attend weekly for a focused period of time. Others choose longer term work as they navigate significant transitions. Your therapist will regularly check in about what feels most helpful and adjust accordingly.